Married at 20

Hello Woman. (or Man, if ever the announcement appealed to you as well, feel free to read.)

Here is a post where things disappear, where things fade, where what was once tangible becomes a memory.

Here is a post for women, hence, we begin to speak to one another between the lines. Read me differently and decipher the heart of this post, so that you may see what I saw, and find what I have found.

I will tell you a secret. I have finally found myself a husband.

I’d like to say it’s a Eureka moment to be married at 20, but Eureka has become an understatement.

I found myself a husband and if you (referring to women) would meet him, you would be awed. I could go for weeks just convincing you that he is the one; that the waiting is worth it, that my Question is finally answered. I can tell you one sure thing: I could not ask for more.

Yet I did.

My husband is distant.  He wrote me a thousand of letters especially made for me since I rarely see him. Oh in fact, I never see him. He is the typical busy man trying to save the world. So here I am, left to believe that I have a perfect husband out there

I had no idea if this would work. What is a husband of no embrace, a lover of no caress? What is a partner who you never see, you never get to laugh with, and you never get to hear audibly?

Time came when I sought the tangible, resorted to what is seen, and believed in what can be heard. I somehow..cheated. Oh I assure you, I tried not to! I almost memorized all his letters to me and yet I did not feel motivated to be faithful. My unfaithful nature cherished every inappropriate butterfly in this stomach of mine, making it more difficult each day to let things go. It started with a glimpse, then a smile, a short conversation…then off my deceitful heart went.

“My husband would understand. He is away.”

Here is a post that is about to end.  I would assume you are wondering how I managed to make things right. It’s actually simple, but it took me months to finally understand.

When my husband told me that he is jealous, I just shrugged. I did not ponder on the thought, until he couldn’t take it, he gave me a burden to hear him out. All those times that I was giddy, enjoying a life of my own, as if I’m single and undeniably available, he was all along outside my door. He was…. crushed.

When I knew this, memories flooded me when I was of younger age. I was a young woman – obsessive, compulsive, over-possessive, and irrationally jealous. I chose to forget that old self of mine, but I was surprisingly reminded of how much it hurt when I was the one being crushed.

I finally understood that yes, my husband wanted me to be obedient but that is not all. Doing the laundry is just part of our marriage, as obedience is to our relationship. He wants my undivided heart so much, that he is now raging with jealousy. His jealousy has turned into a wave that goes through distances to get through me, to envelop me.

My husband wants me all for himself and he desires that TODAY, things will begin to disappear, things will start to fade, and what was once tangible will become a memory.

WWJD (What would Jesus Do) is a nice cliché. But woman, you might want to step it up.  I have seen a jealous husband, and I want you to see him too. With this I have learned to ask myself whatever I do, wherever I go, whoever I meet: “Will my husband approve of this?”

“Your Creator will be like a husband to you—

    the Lord Almighty is his name.” Is 54:5

Is there anything in your life that’s making him distressed with jealousy?

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